White fog, black mist
What hides behind it
all?
Tears of heartbreak?
Tears of disgrace?
Black clouds, gray mist
Heart's already broken, so
nothing matters
No more sunny days
since you've gone away
I wish I could
say more, but my
words are left unsaid.
The words that i speak some may listen but others may not care to because they may see it's wrong or hurtful or there be jeopardized for it. Look i am not trying to hurt anyone just trying to make my voice be heard, if you care to listen then read all you can and leave me a comment or even questions. I won't be afraid to answer them all.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
(Day 11) Lampshade
Lampshade just lying there
on the chair
It was use as
a weapon against my
face
Lampshade, lampshade, I can't
take another
Lampshade, lampshade, look what
you did to my
mother
You made her a
monster
Poor little lampshade, I
can't look at another.
on the chair
It was use as
a weapon against my
face
Lampshade, lampshade, I can't
take another
Lampshade, lampshade, look what
you did to my
mother
You made her a
monster
Poor little lampshade, I
can't look at another.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Bruise
Black, blue, purple too
Pains that won't go
away
One on my right
leg, one on my
left
There's a bruise here
and there
Don't you see dear,
they won't disappear.
Pains that won't go
away
One on my right
leg, one on my
left
There's a bruise here
and there
Don't you see dear,
they won't disappear.
SEX
Pleasure, passion, lust
Is it right?
Does it feel good?
Baby one minute, pushing
the next
Diseases spread, now your
dead
Is it worth the
pleasure now?
Is it worth the
lust now?
Is it worth the
passion now?
Sex is not worth
it, if it's not
love.
Is it right?
Does it feel good?
Baby one minute, pushing
the next
Diseases spread, now your
dead
Is it worth the
pleasure now?
Is it worth the
lust now?
Is it worth the
passion now?
Sex is not worth
it, if it's not
love.
Mistakes
There's some mistakes I've
made that can't be
forgiven
There's secrets in my
closet, you won't understand
Those mistakes are my
secrets, won't you understand
My mistakes are worst
then yours
My mistakes are locked
in a dark closet
and that's where they
must stay.
made that can't be
forgiven
There's secrets in my
closet, you won't understand
Those mistakes are my
secrets, won't you understand
My mistakes are worst
then yours
My mistakes are locked
in a dark closet
and that's where they
must stay.
(Day 10)
Money, flashy cars, is
it all really worth
having?
Loud music, having sex,
catching diseases, is it
worth dying?
Selling drugs, living on
the streets, going to
prison
Is that a life
worth living?
Gold in your mouth,
wow really that ain't
cool
Make a change for
it's too late.
it all really worth
having?
Loud music, having sex,
catching diseases, is it
worth dying?
Selling drugs, living on
the streets, going to
prison
Is that a life
worth living?
Gold in your mouth,
wow really that ain't
cool
Make a change for
it's too late.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Have you ever really wonder where life would take you or where you would end up in the future? Have you thought about who you may want to spend your life with or if you want to spend it alone?
Have you really thought about the things around? Like really took a breathe, sat down underneathe a tree and looked out at the world ahead of you? Have you pictured life without yourself in it sometimes? Have you dreamed that this may not be your life to live after all?
Is anyone out there who understands where I am coming from? Is there anyone out there who feels the same way? Is there anyone out there who just truly just think about life as it passes by day after day, week after week, month after month? If so, can you feel it? If so, do you let it frighten you at times? If so, your not alone just listen to me.
Have you really thought about the things around? Like really took a breathe, sat down underneathe a tree and looked out at the world ahead of you? Have you pictured life without yourself in it sometimes? Have you dreamed that this may not be your life to live after all?
Is anyone out there who understands where I am coming from? Is there anyone out there who feels the same way? Is there anyone out there who just truly just think about life as it passes by day after day, week after week, month after month? If so, can you feel it? If so, do you let it frighten you at times? If so, your not alone just listen to me.
(Day 9) Lost
I can't find my
way
Do I go left?
Do I go right?
Am I real?
Am I fake?
I feel so lost
in this body
In my body?
Do you know me?
Can you help me
find my way out?
I feel so lost.
way
Do I go left?
Do I go right?
Am I real?
Am I fake?
I feel so lost
in this body
In my body?
Do you know me?
Can you help me
find my way out?
I feel so lost.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Death
I'm screaming
Is this my body?
Why does it feel
so cold?
Why do I look
so pale?
What's going on?
Am i dead?
I can't be
I see myself, I
see you
I need a hug
Can you hear me?
I think I'm dead
I can't be dead,
but yet that's my
body lying there from
one drink
My death, your loss,
my body, my cold.
Is this my body?
Why does it feel
so cold?
Why do I look
so pale?
What's going on?
Am i dead?
I can't be
I see myself, I
see you
I need a hug
Can you hear me?
I think I'm dead
I can't be dead,
but yet that's my
body lying there from
one drink
My death, your loss,
my body, my cold.
My Choice
You say it takes
one drink to make
you hooked
But your wrong
My first drink will
always be my last
One drink can kill
you
So stop while you
still can
My choice is to
never to pick up
a drink again
What's yours?
Figure it out before
it's too late.
one drink to make
you hooked
But your wrong
My first drink will
always be my last
One drink can kill
you
So stop while you
still can
My choice is to
never to pick up
a drink again
What's yours?
Figure it out before
it's too late.
I sit, I wonder
"what's down there"?
Are there people like
me?
I'm stuck in a
room, I want to
be free
Someone rescue me?
anyone please?
Waiting for my prince
Save me, take me
away
I want to live,
I want to see,
I want to have
fun
Can you save me?
Can anyone please save
me?
I'm stuck in a
room, awaiting my handsome
prince, is it you?
"what's down there"?
Are there people like
me?
I'm stuck in a
room, I want to
be free
Someone rescue me?
anyone please?
Waiting for my prince
Save me, take me
away
I want to live,
I want to see,
I want to have
fun
Can you save me?
Can anyone please save
me?
I'm stuck in a
room, awaiting my handsome
prince, is it you?
Love
What is love?
Funny, sweet, passionate, tears
What is love?
My love is sweet,
passionate, unforgettable, heartaches, tears,
but that's love
How would you know
what love is truly
if you never fight
Love is never perfect
I can't tell you
what love is, you
have to discover the
joy for yourself
My love is truly
sweet
How is yours?
Funny, sweet, passionate, tears
What is love?
My love is sweet,
passionate, unforgettable, heartaches, tears,
but that's love
How would you know
what love is truly
if you never fight
Love is never perfect
I can't tell you
what love is, you
have to discover the
joy for yourself
My love is truly
sweet
How is yours?
(Day 8)
New places, new faces,
new people, new homes
Do they want me?
Do they love me
like their own?
Why must I move
again?
Did I do something
wrong?
I didn't mean to
I want a real
family
Someone to hold me when
I get scared
Someone to kiss me
goodnight
Packing again
Leaving behind friends, people,
schools
Will I ever succeed?
Will someone at least
keep me long enough
to care?
New homes, new friends,
new faces, new places
I cry out, will
it stop?
new people, new homes
Do they want me?
Do they love me
like their own?
Why must I move
again?
Did I do something
wrong?
I didn't mean to
I want a real
family
Someone to hold me when
I get scared
Someone to kiss me
goodnight
Packing again
Leaving behind friends, people,
schools
Will I ever succeed?
Will someone at least
keep me long enough
to care?
New homes, new friends,
new faces, new places
I cry out, will
it stop?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Greatest Fear
Have you ever feared
of being alone?
I have
To be alone in
the world, where no
one cares is my
greatest fear
What's yours?
of being alone?
I have
To be alone in
the world, where no
one cares is my
greatest fear
What's yours?
Alone
Have you ever felt
left behind?
Have you ever felt
abandon by the one
you love?
Have you ever felt
scared, alone, neglected?
I have
Ever since he left
I felt so alone
Can you take my
hand?
Can someone, anyone take
my hand?
I feel so alone
without you here
I just feel so
neglected like the hallways
in school
So neglected, so abandon,
so alone like me.
left behind?
Have you ever felt
abandon by the one
you love?
Have you ever felt
scared, alone, neglected?
I have
Ever since he left
I felt so alone
Can you take my
hand?
Can someone, anyone take
my hand?
I feel so alone
without you here
I just feel so
neglected like the hallways
in school
So neglected, so abandon,
so alone like me.
Her cold, wrinkled, clamy
hands striking across my
face
The hatred in her
eyes toward me
Her eyes burning red
Is she crazy?
Am I not pretty?
Am I worth nothing?
The bruises the pain
the busted lip
I try to love
her, but all i
feel is hatred
Everybreath I take,
still nothing but hate
Does she care?
No, never, not at
all
So why should I?
hands striking across my
face
The hatred in her
eyes toward me
Her eyes burning red
Is she crazy?
Am I not pretty?
Am I worth nothing?
The bruises the pain
the busted lip
I try to love
her, but all i
feel is hatred
Everybreath I take,
still nothing but hate
Does she care?
No, never, not at
all
So why should I?
Afterlife
Are you stuck?
Is it blank?
There's a god, I
know it
He takes you where
your suppose to go
It's the afterlife
Heaven or Hell?
You choose in the
beginning, he chooses in
the end
It's the afterlife, you
decide your faith.
Is it blank?
There's a god, I
know it
He takes you where
your suppose to go
It's the afterlife
Heaven or Hell?
You choose in the
beginning, he chooses in
the end
It's the afterlife, you
decide your faith.
(Day 7) The Mystery Man
He sits at his
window
The light gleaming behind
him
He just sits, stares,
and watches the world
pass by
Does he see me?
Does he fear?
The mystery man in
the window, I can't
help but stare
I wonder what he's
thinking
Does he ever come
down from there?
The mystery man in
the window, I can't
help but stare.
window
The light gleaming behind
him
He just sits, stares,
and watches the world
pass by
Does he see me?
Does he fear?
The mystery man in
the window, I can't
help but stare
I wonder what he's
thinking
Does he ever come
down from there?
The mystery man in
the window, I can't
help but stare.
Would You?
The ring, the marriage,
the life, the baby
Would you throw it
all away for someone
else?
Happiness, love, joy, passion
Would you throw it
all away for something
sweeter then love?
Joy, laughter, heartaches, tears
Would you throw it
all away to feel
someone else?
Tell me would you
throw away something you
once had for something
new and fresh?
Now tell me would
you?
the life, the baby
Would you throw it
all away for someone
else?
Happiness, love, joy, passion
Would you throw it
all away for something
sweeter then love?
Joy, laughter, heartaches, tears
Would you throw it
all away to feel
someone else?
Tell me would you
throw away something you
once had for something
new and fresh?
Now tell me would
you?
Leaving Home
The precious memories gone
by like the dust
floating in the air
Leaving home is hard
Home cooked meals, laughing,
joking, going out
Leaving home is pain
People yelling, screaming, fighting,
love your family
Leaving home is the
hardest thing anyone could
do
When you leave at
least let them know
you care.
by like the dust
floating in the air
Leaving home is hard
Home cooked meals, laughing,
joking, going out
Leaving home is pain
People yelling, screaming, fighting,
love your family
Leaving home is the
hardest thing anyone could
do
When you leave at
least let them know
you care.
Birthdays
Another day, another year,
another day you get
older and the world
gets colder
Cakes, presents, joys of
laughter fill the air
Happy Birthday to me
A year passes by,
your another year older
Less cake, less people,
less laughter, but another
year older
Birthdays what a drag
Less parties, less presents,
less joy, less family
The joy of getting
older but the fear
of losing your family
Birthdays can be joyful
but hurtful at the
same time.
another day you get
older and the world
gets colder
Cakes, presents, joys of
laughter fill the air
Happy Birthday to me
A year passes by,
your another year older
Less cake, less people,
less laughter, but another
year older
Birthdays what a drag
Less parties, less presents,
less joy, less family
The joy of getting
older but the fear
of losing your family
Birthdays can be joyful
but hurtful at the
same time.
Invisible
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
I'm walking now, do
you care?
It's like I'm invisible,
who cares?
I scream, do you
hear me?
Can you see me?
Can you feel me?
I feel like I
don't exist
I feel so alone
Nothing there, like a
ghost in the air
I'm invisible to the
world around me.
Can you see me?
I'm walking now, do
you care?
It's like I'm invisible,
who cares?
I scream, do you
hear me?
Can you see me?
Can you feel me?
I feel like I
don't exist
I feel so alone
Nothing there, like a
ghost in the air
I'm invisible to the
world around me.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Happiness
You can find it
Can you hold it?
It all depends on
you
Can you feel it?
Do you want to?
Happiness is an emotion
you see.
Can you hold it?
It all depends on
you
Can you feel it?
Do you want to?
Happiness is an emotion
you see.
Holding My Breath
One, two, three, four
am I dead yet?
Five, six, seven, eight
still sitting, still breathing
Am I going to
die soon from holding
my breath?
Not quit sure
Not quit yet
Can I please die
sooner from holding my
breath!
am I dead yet?
Five, six, seven, eight
still sitting, still breathing
Am I going to
die soon from holding
my breath?
Not quit sure
Not quit yet
Can I please die
sooner from holding my
breath!
(Day 6) Beat
She hides her face
with make up
She's being beat every
night
She hides her arms,
while burning in the
heat
She's being beat everyday
How to live with
these foolish mistakes?
She's being beat everyday
She lays crying every
night wanting to leave
She's being beat by
the one she loves
She doesn't share passionate
love
She's being beat every
night and day
How to stop it?
What to say?
What to do?
Help those who are
being beat, as well
as yourself.
with make up
She's being beat every
night
She hides her arms,
while burning in the
heat
She's being beat everyday
How to live with
these foolish mistakes?
She's being beat everyday
She lays crying every
night wanting to leave
She's being beat by
the one she loves
She doesn't share passionate
love
She's being beat every
night and day
How to stop it?
What to say?
What to do?
Help those who are
being beat, as well
as yourself.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
(Day 5) My First Kiss
My last kiss is
nothing like my first
It was hard, rough,
demanding, not passionate at
all
I thought it was
suppose to be romantic
I thought it was
suppose to be smooth
and sweet
Instead my first kiss
was not worth having
at all.
nothing like my first
It was hard, rough,
demanding, not passionate at
all
I thought it was
suppose to be romantic
I thought it was
suppose to be smooth
and sweet
Instead my first kiss
was not worth having
at all.
(Day 5) Getting Old
I glance in the
mirror
I'm getting old
I glance in the
mirror again, my pours
are huge
My breast are sagging,
my thighs are huge
Is this what it
feels like to get
old?
If this is so,
I want to stay
young forever.
mirror
I'm getting old
I glance in the
mirror again, my pours
are huge
My breast are sagging,
my thighs are huge
Is this what it
feels like to get
old?
If this is so,
I want to stay
young forever.
(Day 5) Betrayal
You lied to me
once, I forgave you
You lied to me
again, I'm not loving
it
I trusted you, you
were my one true
friend
Now your nothing to
me, but a speck
of sand
Your no longer my
true best friend.
once, I forgave you
You lied to me
again, I'm not loving
it
I trusted you, you
were my one true
friend
Now your nothing to
me, but a speck
of sand
Your no longer my
true best friend.
(Day 5) Rape, Rape, She Screams
She screams, she fights,
she cries of great
pain
This ain't love
Rape, Rape, She screams
He goes harder, harder,
then he beats her
Rape, Rape, She Screams
Her life flashes before
her, the deed is
done
He laughs, for he
got his fill
She feels hurt, used,
disgusted
How did this happen?
Did she deserve it?
Two weeks later stuck
with a problem
Nine months later pushing
the life out
She's a mother at
only fourteen
What's to become of
her life?
No father, no mother,
no family what so
ever
What should she do?
Her life will never
be the same
Still till this day
she screams rape, but
no hears her.
she cries of great
pain
This ain't love
Rape, Rape, She screams
He goes harder, harder,
then he beats her
Rape, Rape, She Screams
Her life flashes before
her, the deed is
done
He laughs, for he
got his fill
She feels hurt, used,
disgusted
How did this happen?
Did she deserve it?
Two weeks later stuck
with a problem
Nine months later pushing
the life out
She's a mother at
only fourteen
What's to become of
her life?
No father, no mother,
no family what so
ever
What should she do?
Her life will never
be the same
Still till this day
she screams rape, but
no hears her.
Monday, April 9, 2012
The hardest thing to let go is my pain. Why have pain in the first place? Why suffer through it alone?, I ask myself. But sometimes i remember i don't always suffer through it alone. I have god by my side even though things may not always feel so right. Even when my heart hurts i got him to hold me and pick me up when I'm down.
Remember if you can't depend on anyone else you got the heavenly father above. No matter what the problem maybe, you always have him to call on. Even when your own father says he will always be there for you or mother and their not, you got god and that's truely all you need.
Remember if you can't depend on anyone else you got the heavenly father above. No matter what the problem maybe, you always have him to call on. Even when your own father says he will always be there for you or mother and their not, you got god and that's truely all you need.
(Day 4) Love Affair
She sits and waits
till her husband leaves
Then her secret lover
takes her away
She screams, moans, with
great pleasure
She doesn't know her
husband is watching
It's a sweet love
affair to her
To him it's not
worth living
He puts a gun
to his head all
from some stupid love
affair.
till her husband leaves
Then her secret lover
takes her away
She screams, moans, with
great pleasure
She doesn't know her
husband is watching
It's a sweet love
affair to her
To him it's not
worth living
He puts a gun
to his head all
from some stupid love
affair.
(Day 4) Forgetting You Again
When I finally tried
to forget you
You messaged me, to
ask me why I
lied
I knew that wasn't
true
I knew there was
more to say
Just leave me alone
Just leave me be
I finally forgot everything
about you
But you couldn't leave
me be
All from just one
message sent
Now I have to
forget what you meant.
to forget you
You messaged me, to
ask me why I
lied
I knew that wasn't
true
I knew there was
more to say
Just leave me alone
Just leave me be
I finally forgot everything
about you
But you couldn't leave
me be
All from just one
message sent
Now I have to
forget what you meant.
(Day 4) First Love
I thought you were
my first love
But you only wanted
what was in my
pants
I thought you were
my first love
But love can't be
lust
My first love was
no love at all.
my first love
But you only wanted
what was in my
pants
I thought you were
my first love
But love can't be
lust
My first love was
no love at all.
(Day 4) My Reflection
Sometimes I see myself
everywhere
But every time I do
I jump with fear
My own reflection scares
me I don't know
why
Maybe the fear of
my past is reflecting
on how I see
myself now
How do you see
yourself in a mirror?
What do you mean
to yourself exactly?
everywhere
But every time I do
I jump with fear
My own reflection scares
me I don't know
why
Maybe the fear of
my past is reflecting
on how I see
myself now
How do you see
yourself in a mirror?
What do you mean
to yourself exactly?
(Day 4) He Cries WAR
I fight this war
I fight it for
you and me
He cries WAR
You wouldn't believe the
things I've seen
You wouldn't believe the
things i had to
do to survive
He cries WAR
I saw the innocent
die in vein
I saw friends and
family die
He cries WAR
The last soldier finally
stands alone
He cries the war
is over
I fought for my
nation but I'm no
hero.
I fight it for
you and me
He cries WAR
You wouldn't believe the
things I've seen
You wouldn't believe the
things i had to
do to survive
He cries WAR
I saw the innocent
die in vein
I saw friends and
family die
He cries WAR
The last soldier finally
stands alone
He cries the war
is over
I fought for my
nation but I'm no
hero.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The hardest thing anyone could ever go through is abuse. Well it's not the hardest, only if it's by the people you love and care about. But you know one thing, it's what becomes of you that makes you the better person.
you may that special or you may love your family dearly but suffering through it all by yourself isn't the answer. I would know. I was beat up until the age of 11 and i am doing so much better. It was alot of trail and tribulations but with god's help and other important in my life now, i wouldn't have made it through.
Just think of it as a journey, your trying to find your way through the right path but something always wants to stand in your way. But just remember push it aside because it's another day your alive. Please find help for it's too late for you. Everyone deserves a better life even though you may not always think so. A chance is waiting for you to succeed with you find it?
you may that special or you may love your family dearly but suffering through it all by yourself isn't the answer. I would know. I was beat up until the age of 11 and i am doing so much better. It was alot of trail and tribulations but with god's help and other important in my life now, i wouldn't have made it through.
Just think of it as a journey, your trying to find your way through the right path but something always wants to stand in your way. But just remember push it aside because it's another day your alive. Please find help for it's too late for you. Everyone deserves a better life even though you may not always think so. A chance is waiting for you to succeed with you find it?
Day 3 (Poem 3 Abuse) (Beat)
She hides her face
with make up
She's being beat every
night
She hides her arms,
while burning up in
the heat
She's being beat everyday
How to live with
these foolish mistakes
She's being beat everyday
She lays crying every
night, wanting to leave
She's being beat by
the one she loves
She doesn't share passionate
love, only hate
She's being beat every
night and day
How to stop it?
By ending her own
life?
Never
What to say?
Not wanting to lose
what she has
What to do?
Just pray
Help yourself and the
ones you love today.
with make up
She's being beat every
night
She hides her arms,
while burning up in
the heat
She's being beat everyday
How to live with
these foolish mistakes
She's being beat everyday
She lays crying every
night, wanting to leave
She's being beat by
the one she loves
She doesn't share passionate
love, only hate
She's being beat every
night and day
How to stop it?
By ending her own
life?
Never
What to say?
Not wanting to lose
what she has
What to do?
Just pray
Help yourself and the
ones you love today.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Day 2 (Poem 2 Abuse) (Hot Water)
Hot water in my
face
Hot water on my
feet
Hot water I must
stand
Hot water I can't
close my eyes to
sleep
Over and over she
drips my face back
in
My face as red,
as red can be
Screaming, crying, trying to
free
Hot water, hot water
why must you do
this to me?
face
Hot water on my
feet
Hot water I must
stand
Hot water I can't
close my eyes to
sleep
Over and over she
drips my face back
in
My face as red,
as red can be
Screaming, crying, trying to
free
Hot water, hot water
why must you do
this to me?
Day 2 (Poem 1 Abuse)
Bruises here, bruises there
Hiding them, holding them,
covering them
Not telling no one
Going home, being beat,
night after night crying
myself to sleep
Screaming in my head,
cursing the father above
Father's barley home
Where's my hero?
Where's my number one?
Crying out in pain
Being beat during the
day
Being beat during the
night
Being beat for nothing
you see
I'm worthless, I'm nothing,
I'm nobody to her
but a punching bag.
Hiding them, holding them,
covering them
Not telling no one
Going home, being beat,
night after night crying
myself to sleep
Screaming in my head,
cursing the father above
Father's barley home
Where's my hero?
Where's my number one?
Crying out in pain
Being beat during the
day
Being beat during the
night
Being beat for nothing
you see
I'm worthless, I'm nothing,
I'm nobody to her
but a punching bag.
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